Category Archives: Text

The future will soon be a thing of the past. – George Carlin

“One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict. – George Carlin

Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey. – George Carlin

When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat. – George Carlin

Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here. – George Carlin

I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. – George Carlin

I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don’t trust any organization that has a handbook. – George Carlin

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac? – George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. – George Carlin

I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions. – George Carlin